Kay Kay

Thanks snoik. LOL i didn't think it would make everyone seem like they're in the puzzle. Thanks plutogirl! Yeah i see what you mean by that is how your life ...

I agree on the rhyme part is a little off. I like the message in the poem though.

You should keep writing was good.

Thanks for your crit. I can see now what you mean by not flowing.

I agree with green_river. I really liked the poem. Especially, the part: Let me lead you to the wonders of heaven Let me show you the jewels of joy I ...

I liked it, but there's no punctuation. I could feel the emotion in it as well. Over all except for the errors i think it was good.

I agree: Too many questions. I think you did really good on this poem and I enjoyed reading it. There are a few errors and i think you should capitalize ...

You wrote: my love is gone and i feel he was a rat. I feel that this just throws the story of the poem off. You need more punctuation too. ...

I will asap!!

I didn't think anyone would enjoy reading this so I stopped posting. Do you really like it? If so I can start posting more!

I figured so. Tell me when you have posted the next chapter like on a pm or something.

Yeah we do.

You did a good job...it's a good poem. Anyways, the only mistakes i saw were that there was no punctuation and you didnt capitalize the first word of every new ...

Oh thanx for reminding me how much of a pain school really is...j/k. I liked it though. Good job. Nice pic by the way...i really liked it.

I like it! Hey you're new...sorry i haven't welcomed you yet. Welcome! Anyways, like nate said it's short but good. I hope there will be more to read. Great job ...